You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
P.S. I can't hear my feet
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
