maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
4 words: hood of his car
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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