I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
