Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
