It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
