Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
