Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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