I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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