He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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