Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
