"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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