Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it glows. i had to have it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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