Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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