Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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