I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
