she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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