i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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