Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
