she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
