I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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