This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
