just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
