I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
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At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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