Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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