used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
