She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
