sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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