You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
