I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize