I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.