Already got asked if we're dating
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
