i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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