my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
