Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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