Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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