I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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