I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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