Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
