its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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