dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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