Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
