i may or may not be watching the land before time
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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