There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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