do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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