Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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