She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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