you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
