Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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