Pants 0. Shit 1.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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