absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Damn victory sex feels great
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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