Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
