She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
