We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
