I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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