My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
