the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
