Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
