so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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