If i come over, it means nothing
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
