Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
