Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Someone shattered a urinal.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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