I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
