We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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