Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
