I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
